God Loves You too!

Our lives are not meant to be easy.  Almost daily the Devil is going to throw temptations at you. He'll make anything done out of good/kindness for others or for God difficult, and just as you think your life is going good and you are happy, he'll throw a curve ball at you.  Our life is one big test, and you'll end up with one of two grades, a G-od or a D-evil.

Unfortunately some of us took a more advanced class with a Final far more difficult than the rest of us.  And they tend to have more struggles than others.  I have a friend, who grew up in a Christian household, has always held onto her faith, and is always helping others.  It's because of this she's in the advanced class and the Devil has thrown her more than her fair share of struggles.  Recently she's been struggling with things.  And finally came to the conclusion that she's being too nice, and she's been trying to make other people happy for too long, while neglecting herself.

I think as Christians we look at the world, and read the bible, and listen to what god says.  And sometimes take it too literally.  Love thy neighbor, forgive those who trespass against us, serve the Lord by helping others.  And we pray, we pray for those struggling, we tend to those who need our help, and we forgive the people who have hurt us because we know they are struggling.  What we don't remember is that after "Love thy neighbor" comes as we do ourselves, and before "Forgive those who trespass against us" comes, "Forgive us our trespasses". 

When you get on an airplane, the stewardess talks about the oxygen masks, in the event of an incident and the masks are deployed put yours on before helping others.  We're not going to be of any help to anyone if we're dieing.  If we can't breathe how can we help others breathe?

The same goes in life, yes; please do good, help others, pray for others and all that jazz.  But if you don't tend to yourself first, if you don't give yourself some attention, you're not going to be able to help other people.  You can't be expected to help those struggling if you're struggling too, and you can't be expected to make others happy, if you are unhappy.  So before you go to bed tonight, and you are saying your prayers, throw one in for yourself, "Lord please take care of me, and stay by my side.  Take some of my burden and carry it for me.  Let me always to have a smile on my face, and love in my heart, so that I may always do your will."  God loves everyone of us equally, and I think we all try to have the same way of thinking.  What we never think of or stop to realize is , we (I) am one of those people too, and we (I) deserve just as much happiness, prayers, and love as everyone else.  God loves you too!  And don't ever forget it!

Forgive and Forget

....... Give us this day, our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those who trespass against us.......

Why is this so much more easily said than done? God is so quick to forgive our sins, and accept that we are not perfect. So why is it so difficult for us to do the same thing when we are wronged? I dealt with a not so nice boss a few years ago. And for the 2 years I worked with her, I complained about her to everyone I could. The stuff that she did, the way she acted, huh, well it was unforgivable. And all I wanted to do was get her to see how she acted affected others. Hoping she would change. Maybe that's why I didn't forgive her, because I knew if she could only see it, and change it, it would be so much better. But it never happened, and I just continued to complain. Only until I was talking to another level headed Christian - my therapist - did I change how I thought. She said, "You know, it sounds like she has some insecurity issues. She has low self esteem, and isn't positive she thinks she is the person for the job. So she's putting up a front." So now I can understand why she always jumped back and argued about everything, she feared if she was proved wrong, everyone would see that she isn't quite sure about what she's doing. And it made sense. And the way she dressed, and clung to her possessions as if they were the world to her, it's because she thinks those things will make others like her. I've since forgiven her, and now understand that if she is to change, it's not up to me to make her see it. It can only come from with in. So now instead of complaining about her, I pray for her. And I can see that it wasn't anything personally against me, or anyone else here. The way she acts isn't necessarily excusable, but it's forgiveable because there is a personal reason for her acting as she did.

If we could only realize this about every person we come across. If someone has wronged you, usually it's a personal reason and not typically because they have it out for you. The co-worker who steps on you to climb up the corporate ladder, or the bully that pushes you in school. The co-worker doesn't think they have the skills or knowledge to move up with out pushing others down, it's not because they want to see you fail. Or the bully is really only doing it because they want others to like them, and are afraid their real self isn't good enough, so they push others down to make themselves look better.

Forgive them, yes it wasn't the "Godly" thing to do, but "God" will take care of that in the end.  YOU be the best person you can be, and know that even though this person is trying to push you down, your light still shines through.  They can't take that away from you - and it will overcome everything in the end.  So next time you are hurt by someone else, repeat the lords prayer, and tell yourself, God has forgiven my sins, I can forgive them.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions...

I know everything we do or say can only truly be judged by one being.  And it really shouldn't matter what others think or say about us.  But if unknowingly we say something that hurts another person - as if that was meant for that person but in reality was meant for everyone including yourself.  Is it the same kind of thing?  If we go on spouting out things that hurt others; that we know in our hearts, isn't trying to hurt others and is actually meant to help others; but comes out wrong.  And if we're oblivious to that fact; does that make us a bad person?  I don't think it makes us a bad person if we're oblivious to it.  But if all of the sudden we find out what we say or do hurts someone accidentally, and we again say, it doesn't matter, I'm only trying to please God, what then?

I guess my example is this.  I've been playing dodge ball on Wednesdays with a group.  At a center where many underprivileged people come to stay out of trouble.  And I usually come in, in my work clothes, sometimes all dressed up, and looking a little "prissy".  Prissy white girl is I guess how I'd put it.  Then I go into the bathroom and change into my work out clothes.  I never really knew how it looked to the people there, until last Wednesday.  When the lady at the front counter says, "Oh it's the Dodge ball diva, she always comes in straight from work, dressed up in her Gucci and Prada, pearls and heels, goes into the bathroom and changes into her work out clothes, and comes back out acting like one of us, all ready to play dodge ball." 

Does it really look that bad?  Do I really portray that to them?  I don't want them to feel like that, or make them feel bad.   It's not that I'm walking in like that to show off I have more, or trying to show I'm better than them because I have to dress nice for work.  It's just convenient for me to change there.  And really, I'm just like them in so many ways, I struggle some weeks to come up with the $ to pay for dodge ball, and I had to work for what I do have.  But does it make me a bad person to continue on and change there even though I know how they feel?  Because the only one who can judge me is God, right? Or do I stop changing there, to make another human feel better?  When the bible clearly states, that it is wrong to strive to please others, and instead we should strive to please the Lord.  But if I continue on; knowing what I am doing is accidentally making others feel bad; because I say I'm just trying to please God, isn't that a little selfish?  And am I not just thinking about myself?

You can say I'm completely stupid, or think my way of thinking is wrong.  But that's just one part of the bible, and it only applies to certain aspects of our lives.  If you focus on one piece of the bible, and say this is how it is, you are missing soooo much!!  Just because yes you should strive to please the Lord instead of your peers, doesn't mean you should forget about everything else in the bible!  What about trying to be a good person, or loving others as we love ourselves, or treating everyone equal?  We may not be able to follow everything in the bible exactly as its said every time, but should actually use our judgements as to what's more important, and pray to God for the knowledge to know what's more important.  I think the bottom line is, as long as God is part of your life, and affects the decisions you make, you can never make the wrong decision.

God's Will

So this post probably isn't going to be the words of wisdom kind of post I've done in the past; its going to play off my previous post a bit.  I've decided I want to do something big to help people out.  But I can't seem to figure it out.  But I've decided I'm going to let it be in God's hands, and he'll show me the way.

So let's go back to last Friday, Sept. 3rd, its the first Friday of the month, and the local Christian radio station, KTIS - 98.5 http://www.ktis.fm/, has this thing called the "Drive Through Difference".  You go through the drive through, paying for the person behind you, and leave the cashier a little note to give to them saying, you hope it made their day, and it was just something you wanted to do.  The official day for it is the first Friday of every month.  So I decided I would do it again.  I don't know what it is, or if I'm doing it wrong or whatever, but it seems that everytime I do it, it seems to throw the cashier off. They don't know what to do, and have to ask the manager to make sure its okay.  Well last Friday was no different.  So it took a little longer than normal.  And apparently the guy behind me (the one I was paying for) was impatient and decided to go around me to the second window ahead of me.  Oh well didn't work out as well as I had wanted, but whatever, not a big loss.  But I thought since they always say how they like to hear about peoples experiences with it, and since mine was an interesting one I thought I would call in and tell them my story.  When I got into work I get on the website and am trying to find the number I need to call, and I see the link for "I can help Twin Cities".  Basically a spot that lists all of the organizations in the Twin Cities you could volunteer at and what you can do for them.  I alwasy told myself it was something I needed to look at to see what I could do, but just never got around to doing it and I didn't this time either.  But I told myself I would come back at lunch time and check it out.  Lunch time came around and went to write a blog post, (my previous one) and I look up the "Jesus Delivers" place and find on the top of their website, it says "We are a member of I can help Twin Cities".  How could I not take that hint?  God had placed it directly before me and basically said, here this is what I want you to do.  So I e-mailed one of the guys in charge over there to see what I could do.  And well, on the 18th I'm going to be volunteering, cooking food, handing it and clothes out to the homeless, and helping clean up afterwards.  I don't know whats going to happen with it, or where I'm going to go from here, but God has put it before me and it's pretty obvious this is what he wants me to do.  Don't you wish all of our choices and decisions could be this easy?

Learning From Our Mistakes

So there's so many things I want to talk about today, because it's been a while since I've posted, and may things have happened.  But I am going to try and keep this short and just add the rest another day.

Two days ago, a co-worker gave me a great idea for me to move up in my job and career and help out another co-worker at the same time.  The problem with it was if I did it wrong or said it wrong it may come across as me wanting to take advantage of that co-workers situation, and use her misfortune to benefit myself.  Which of course, was not the situation at all, I wanted to help her and I guess in turn sort of help myself.  So I ask around, sent a few trustworthy co-workers an e-mail asking how they thought I should go about it.  And then I went outside to give my husband a call to ask him what he thought.  And just before calling him, a delivery truck/van drove by and on the side it said "Jesus Delivers".  And normally I would sit on the picnic table outside, where you can't really see the road, but this time; for some reason; I decided I would sit on the ledge of the docking bay, facing the highway.  It was as if God placed me there so I would see the truck.

Fast forward to that night, I still hadn't really gotten any advice that I thought was good enough to come across to the boss as I wanted it to.  And then it kind of clicked, I knew how to bring it up to him.  So yesterday; (Thursday) I had every intention of talking to my boss about it that morning, but my nerves got the best of me, and ended up putting it off, at least until that afternoon. 

So shortly after a meeting got done that afternoon (I had typed up exactly what I wanted to say earlier) and I was reading through it again, try to work up the nerve to talk to him and over walks my boss.  "Hey, you got a little time, I need to talk to you about something."  "Yeap no problem" I say, and we head into a conference room.  He proceeds to talk to me about two different options I had to move up in my job here.  One being a new program, they needed people to learn it and then teach it to others, and be an administrator for it.  (I'd done this kind of thing before here with a different program, and I was a logical choice for this.)  And the second one being the same thing I was going to go to him about!  We both had the same idea!  Of course I jumped on the second choice.  And the truck from the day before suddenly made so much sense!

God has plans for all of us, and usually if we are watching he'll show us how to get from point "A" to "B".  Sometimes we'll hear and see the hints and signs he gives us.  But I don't know if we really listen to them.  If; after seeing the truck; I would have just stopped and said, okay, obviously God has a plan for this, leave it up to him and he'll show me the way."  I would have saved myself all that stress and my cuticles from the pain my obsessive nail biting has caused.  I knew the moment I saw that truck it was a sign, and I admit I felt relieved.  But I continued to do it my own way, and I didn't let God into my life and give myself fully to him, trusting in him that he will give me the things I need.  I didn't listen to him.  Just like a child when a parent says, "Don't touch the stove, it's hot you'll burn yourself." Or "Don't do that you are going to hurt yourself."  And then moments later the child is heard crying in pain running to the parent.  It's not that the child didn't trust them, or believe them, it was that they were curious, and just needed proof they could do it.  But alas, we learn from doing and we learn from our mistakes.  God gives us the gifts we need to do what he has set out for us, and many times expects us to fail or not do it completely right.  But He is right there for us when we can't do it ourselves, and helps us finish what we started. And  just as the parent is there for the child (hopefully in most cases) and say that its okay, and they'll be fine, he's there to comfort us.  So my eyes and ears are open God, show me the way, what's next?

Oh and by the way; I did figure out what exactly the truck was from, you can see the picture of one of the trucks above - the one I saw looked a little different.  It is a food ministry delivering food for the homeless and everyone struggling in the St. Paul, MN area.  Here is their website; http://www.jesusdelivers.info/  I'll definitely be donating to them; maybe you will too.

The Greenest Grass

I may get some people upset with this post but here it goes.

My brother in law was brought up in a christian household, was baptized, confirmed, went to church, all the good stuff.  Some where a long the way, he decided he didn't believe in God.  I don't know if he considers himself an atheist or just plain non-religious; but he's dead set in his beliefs and has even lost a couple great girlfriends because of it.

On the other side of things, I worked with a girl a while back, who once said to me, "I don't know how anyone wouldn't believe in God, how can you not?" referring to our I.T. guy who believes in Buddhism.  Now I don't know about him, but I can completely see why you could be non-religious all together.  I don't know much about other religions, and I don't claim to, but I do know many people who consider themselves non-religious, or atheist, came to that conclusion at some point in their lives; it wasn't handed down to them.  (Yes I know before you jump there are many out there that are, but I grew up in a non-religious household, and here I am preaching to you, and my BIL grew up in a christian household, and he is where he is.)  All I mean is when you grow up, you tend to decide who you are on your own.  So why do some people decide they don't believe in Jesus or any other religion?  I don't know, but my best guess is this.  At some point in their lives, living was a struggle for some reason or another.  And they decided, if there was a God, that loves me as much as they bible says, he wouldn't make me go through so much pain, if there was any higher being, they wouldn't make so many people go through so much pain.  And then spend a bunch of time trying to prove it doesn't exist.

But I kind of have a different view; I thank God for my trials, with out them, I would not be who I am today.  I like to think of it like this, "If you are a parent, and you give your child everything they want, and they always get their way, they are going to end up a spoiled, selfish, brat.  Why would our Father in Heaven treat our lives any different?  Plus if everything was perfect, and nothing ever went wrong, it would be a rather boring life.  Eventually, you'll run out of things you want, get sick of always knowing what's going to happen, and just be plain bored of it.  So I am thankful that every now and then, someone said something not so nice to me, I fell and hurt my knee, or the project I work so hard on fell apart in the end.  It brings me back to reality, and makes me so much more thankful for the good times.

Plus our time on earth is a test, how we handle the bad times determines our outcome when leave the earth.  Do we fall apart, blame others for our mistakes, and treat every one like crap because we had something bad happen to us?.  Or do we accept our mistakes, brush ourselves off, and give it another try, all the while with a smile on our faces?  Crap happens, life happens, and you can't predict what's going to happen, so even if you do everything right, doesn't mean it's going to come out perfect in the end.  A quote I like seems to fit well with this post, "The greenest grass is the grass that grows from crap."  So take your crap, deal with it, and grow, you may just end up better in the long run...

There is only one true leader; listen to your own voice...

Since the husband is away this week for work, I decided to go out with some girlfriends for some dinner and gossip on Tuesday.  While we were talking I brought the blog up, and that led to a conversation about Christianity.  My one girlfriend mentioned she had started a bible study for children at her church, and I'm not sure how or why the children ended up at the last one she did, but they had never really heard of or knew of Christ before.  And she said, it was the most heartwarming/breaking thing she'd ever seen when their eyes lit up as she was telling them about Jesus.  Heartwarming because they were accepting him, and really wanted to know more about him.  Heartbreaking because one said, "You mean there's someone who actually loves me for me?" 

Those are the kind of stories I love.  The ones where someone does something not because its going to help them in any way, yes she'll probably become closer to God as she does this, but for the most part it's a completely selfless act, done just out of the kindness of her heart to help others. 

Some Christians see church and tithing's as; I go to church and I give the church money so God WILL bless me.  But so many of us are already blessed.  Just to be alive; to have a roof over our heads; be able to put food on our plates; or have love in our hearts.  But more often than not, we take those things for granted.  Those aren't blessings, that's just daily life, normal stuff.  But for many people it's not.  Especially with the world we are living in today, many don't have those things.  Some children have never felt the amazing power of a hug; or go to bed hungry; or have never heard those 3 words whispered to them by anyone.  So when I go to church it's not to ask God for more blessings, it's to thank God for the blessings I've already been given.

Mother Teresa said it best "Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person".  A smile given to the person walking towards you as you go down the street.  The lady on the side of the road stressed because she has a flat.  The gas station attendant asking you, "Do you want to donate $1 to so and so charity?"  DO IT!  Don't think oh, someone else will help her out, that guy might be weird, I don't want to give him the wrong idea, or they ask everyone every time they are in, they aren't going to miss $1, if I don't do it today.  What if we all had that same way of thinking?  How would anything EVER get done?  When she says, "Person to Person" it means, small things, baby steps, one person at a time.  Imagine if we all adopted that frame of mind, just by helping one person out, wow, imagine the possibilities.  I'm sure this isn't the first time you've heard this same song and dance before, so isn't it time you listen to it?