What will you see?

So I've been listening to the local christian radio station ktis.fm a lot lately.  And every morning they have this thing called the "Name Game" where they say some child's name, and you can call in and talk about your son or daughter with that name, and all of the great things that they do.  One really stuck with me a few weeks ago.  I don't recall the name, but they said that their child said "When I grow up, I want to help people, I want to do good like Jesus."  And the reason I remember it is because they were only 5 years old.  Most children that age go with "When I grow up I want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a fireman/woman, etc...  So hearing this child put it like that, was just like wow, we could all learn a lot from him. 

I figured out a while ago that the question you need to ask yourself is not, "What do I want to be when I grow up?"  But instead should be, "When I'm 80, and I look back on my life, what do I want to see? What do I want to see that I've accomplished?"  And then figure out how to make that happen.  And this child had already partially understood that at a young age.  He didn't want the popularity of a movie star or an astronaut, he didn't want the stigma that goes along with being a fireman, and he didn't want to be rich, he just wanted to help people like Jesus.  Sometimes children understand God and Jesus more than some of the smartest scholars out there.  There's no well, he meant this, or because he said that means people can't do this, they just know that Jesus wants them to be good, and to treat everyone equally.  And isn't that what it's all about?  Grow up and do everything you can to be a good person, so when you look back at your life at 80, you can be proud of yourself.  And know that God is proud of you.  I think that sums up the bible pretty well, don't you?

Eternal Happiness

So recently we just got dish; so instead of the 4 channels we had with the antenna, we now have 400.  It's opened up a whole new world of television for me.  Shows like, "Army Wives", the inevitable "Jersey Shore" (aka train wreck - yes I'm ashamed to say I tuned in for an episode - but just one!  It's all I could take!)  And there there is one I saw the other night for the first time, a show called "Hoarders - Buried Alive" on TLC.  And all I have to say is WOW!  When did we as a society get the impression that "things" would make us happy?  And most of the stuff in these people's homes wasn't anything of value - emotionally or monetarily, it was just junk.  And the more junk they had, the more stressful their lives were.  But yet they continued to add to it, "Ughh...  Trying to sort this out and get organized is making me stressed and upset.  Let's go shopping and get more stuff."  Stuff that they will undoubtedly bring home, look at/use for maybe a day or so, and then get thrown on top of the already ginormous pile of stuff, only adding to the stress.  You would think at some point they'd stop themselves and say, "Hey, you know what, this isn't working.  I need to change." 

My point in all of this is, God wants us to be happy, we are his children, why wouldn't he?  But some day when our time on earth is done, we leave all of our earthly possessions behind to receive "eternal happiness".  And that's the happiness I'm working towards.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not an angel by any means, and I still love the feeling I get when I find that perfect pair of shoes, (I admit it, I'm addicted to shoes!), and I dream of some day owning that 42' boat.  But God is now, and will forever be first on my list.  If after tithing's, bills, putting some in savings, and what little I can donate to various charities; I have some money left then I'll spoil myself.  But for me, my happiness comes from with in.  That feeling you have inside when you are so close to God, and you've seen his miracles happen, its like your whole soul is happy, it just radiates from with in.  There is no pair of shoes or dream boat that can replace that or take it away, so why even bother?

Just a Small Town Girl in a Big Town World

So this is all new for me.  I recently purchased "The Purpose Driven Life"  Which I guess is what made me decide to start this, but its not what this blog is about.  I wasn't always a Christian, and really was only baptized at 21 for my husband (then fiance) so we could get married.  I started going to Church with him and his family after a year or so together with him, but I didn't really consider myself a Christian.  Yeah I always believed there was something bigger than all of this, all of us, but I didn't really know what it was. 

Only after my father passed away just a few short months before our wedding did I really do some soul searching.  I became depressed, and just angry, I needed help, and I found it in a Christian counseling center.  They gave me what I needed to get through the depression, but I was still angry, I still had so many questions. 

My dad was never very involved in mine and my siblings lives growing up, but he started coming back into our lives, wanting to be part of them less than a year before he passed away.  About a month before his death, he asked me if he could walk me down the aisle, along with my step-father and I never gave him an answer because I was still angry with him for doing what he did so many years ago.  So when he passed away, I was racked with guilt, and having his friend tell me at his funeral that he constantly talked about it, and wondered if he should call me and ask about it, tore me apart.  Basically I never gave him his final wish, he never knew that I really did want him to, but I needed to work through it with in myself first.  So, I started praying, and putting my faith in GOD, what did I have to lose, nothing else had worked, so lets give it a shot. 

Almost immediately I began to feel different, think different, and just have faith in humanity again.  (I know crazy!  Faith in humanity, what is that?!)  Ever since then, my faith has just grown stronger, and I've begun to see things differently.  Quite often I find myself thinking about things; life, humans, god, just everything, and usually it makes a lot of sense, and I find myself wishing I could share my thoughts with other people, maybe they could get some use out of it.  So now fast forward to last week, I've started reading the book, and it pops in my head, why not start a blog?  And the more I thought about it, the more sense it made.  Relate your thoughts and ideas to events that have happened, and put it in a blog.  And if anyone reads it, great!  Even better if someone gets something from it!  I'm probably not the first to do something like this, and I know I won't be the last, but so what, the internet is free and open to everyone, right?  If you don't like it, don't read it, simple as that!

My first "official" post will be tomorrow as I am about sick of typing.  But I do want to say, my spelling may not be perfect and my grammar sometimes atrocious; but I freely admit to it.  So if your gonna call me out on it, you are wasting your time.  I know my thoughts and ideas are debatable, so if you are going to debate it, keep it clean and act with a little class.

See you tomorrow blogger world!