So this is all new for me. I recently purchased "The Purpose Driven Life" Which I guess is what made me decide to start this, but its not what this blog is about. I wasn't always a Christian, and really was only baptized at 21 for my husband (then fiance) so we could get married. I started going to Church with him and his family after a year or so together with him, but I didn't really consider myself a Christian. Yeah I always believed there was something bigger than all of this, all of us, but I didn't really know what it was.
Only after my father passed away just a few short months before our wedding did I really do some soul searching. I became depressed, and just angry, I needed help, and I found it in a Christian counseling center. They gave me what I needed to get through the depression, but I was still angry, I still had so many questions.
My dad was never very involved in mine and my siblings lives growing up, but he started coming back into our lives, wanting to be part of them less than a year before he passed away. About a month before his death, he asked me if he could walk me down the aisle, along with my step-father and I never gave him an answer because I was still angry with him for doing what he did so many years ago. So when he passed away, I was racked with guilt, and having his friend tell me at his funeral that he constantly talked about it, and wondered if he should call me and ask about it, tore me apart. Basically I never gave him his final wish, he never knew that I really did want him to, but I needed to work through it with in myself first. So, I started praying, and putting my faith in GOD, what did I have to lose, nothing else had worked, so lets give it a shot.
Almost immediately I began to feel different, think different, and just have faith in humanity again. (I know crazy! Faith in humanity, what is that?!) Ever since then, my faith has just grown stronger, and I've begun to see things differently. Quite often I find myself thinking about things; life, humans, god, just everything, and usually it makes a lot of sense, and I find myself wishing I could share my thoughts with other people, maybe they could get some use out of it. So now fast forward to last week, I've started reading the book, and it pops in my head, why not start a blog? And the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. Relate your thoughts and ideas to events that have happened, and put it in a blog. And if anyone reads it, great! Even better if someone gets something from it! I'm probably not the first to do something like this, and I know I won't be the last, but so what, the internet is free and open to everyone, right? If you don't like it, don't read it, simple as that!
My first "official" post will be tomorrow as I am about sick of typing. But I do want to say, my spelling may not be perfect and my grammar sometimes atrocious; but I freely admit to it. So if your gonna call me out on it, you are wasting your time. I know my thoughts and ideas are debatable, so if you are going to debate it, keep it clean and act with a little class.
See you tomorrow blogger world!
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